Bobbing Around Volume 22 Number 11

We think of our minds existing in this world, but it’s actually the world that exists in our minds.
Jim Tucker in Return to Life

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The most environmentally friendly product is the one you didn’t buy.
Joshua Becker

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All the joy the world contains
Has come through wishing happiness for others.
While all the misery the world contains
Has come through wanting happiness for oneself alone.
Shantideva, 8th Century Buddhist poet

Bobbing Around

Volume Twenty-two, Number Eleven,
May, 2023

Bob Rich’s rave

bobswriting.com    anxietyanddepression-help.com/    mudsmith.net/    previous issues

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Comments are welcome — on the bottom of every post and page here, including this one.

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I am responsible for anything I have written. However, where I reproduce contributions from other people, I do not necessarily endorse their opinions. I may or may not agree with them, but give them the courtesy of a forum.

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* From me to you
No news is not always good news

 

	New content	Posts during the past month
RESPONSES	Carolyn Howard-Johnson
ENVIRONMENT		When fish cannot breathe
GOOD NEWS	Bully defeated: Greenpeace wins in court
INSPIRATION		My favourite Pope is back again Naomi Klein on the hallucinations of AI developers
PSYCHOLOGY	Yet another notabuser Inappropriate treatment	Grieving is something you do Monster census: Ernest Dempsey discusses depression and its family
DEEPER ISSUES	Confucius quotes	How to be a friend when disaster strikes
TECHNOLOGY		Put some sparkle into your life: Jolanda’s fruit fizz recipe.
WRITING		Interviewed in good company Is a live link electrifying? Ampersands: Pretty but Distracting: a guest post by Carolyn Howard-Johnson A survey: which opening is best? No pain, no story: the May, 2023 round robin
ANNOUNCEMENTS	Gremlin-hunter handbook
REVIEWS	Paddlin’ With Thoreau by Mary Anne Smrz
POETRY	The Never-Ending Search, by Don Lubov Taken, by Laurie Corzett
FUN	Accurate view of housing crisis

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From me to you

No news is not always good news

I have experienced a major life shock in the past month. It’s not appropriate to share, except to say that a person I deeply love is in trouble, and all my emotional energy has been invested in being there for her.

So, sorry, no brags or chatter this time. I have made submissions and pestered politicians, but didn’t remember to save the content.

This is of course a true test of Buddhist equanimity: coping through nonattachment (which is very different from not caring). I do this at three levels:

1. There is an unpleasant physical or emotional fact. I simply accept it. It’s OK to be there, so I am not suffering.

2. No, it’s not OK. I want it to go away, but I can accept that for now I am suffering, and it’s OK to do so. It is a legitimate pain.

3. No. I can’t stand it, and life is not worth living. Then at least I accept that for now I am in despair. Change is the only constant, and this, too, shall pass.

For all of this month, I have been in level 2. I am hurting, and this is the right thing. My second-hand pain honours this person. All I can do is the best I can do to be there for her.

There is always a silver lining. My current work in progress on grief has increased personal relevance. In a way, I am writing it for myself. Although the problem is not grief, it has the same kind of impact.

And it’s OK. We can survive anything, even dying. I’ve done that, many times, and so have you.

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Responses

 

Carolyn Howard-Johnson

I have loved Dr. Bob Rich’s “Bobbing Around” for ages. I love it for the information I get about writing from Dr. Bob Rich and his friends. I love it for the resources I glean from the posts. I love it for the opportunities it offers writers. Even poems! But most of all, I love it for the environment-related content. It offers bragging rights, of course, but also a permanent spot where readers can find dozens of new books. In fact, it has practically opened a new genre for the benefit of the planet.
Carolyn Howard-Johnson, multi award-winning author of fiction, poetry and her HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for Writers.

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Good news

 

Bully defeated: Greenpeace wins in court

For the past seven years, a logging company has been suing Greenpeace USA because they exposed the destructive practices of this particularly rapacious business.

Reading the report, I learned a new name for this kind of legal action: SLAPP, which stand for “Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation.” Love it.

Love the fact that Greenpeace won.

Here is the report.

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Psychology

 

Yet another notabuser

When he was about 13, and again when he was 16, a now 27-year-old man got an infant to touch his penis. Now, he feels “already broken,” not worth anything, guilty beyond belief. My first response was to tell him to read the page I have for people with this history.

And yes, what I have there has reassured him and allowed him to move forward in his life.

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Inappropriate treatment

Sexually abused as a child by male family member and two of his friends. First marriage ended in divorce. I don’t see my children, they are grown up now. Spent time in a hospital undergoing radical electro shock treatment, which caused me to lose precious memories I had of my mother. Second marriage not good currently due to my mood swings, poor self worth, and more… Suffering panic attacks daily. intermittent bouts of agoraphobia much more to say…

I have completed an online test for BPD and match to 8 or the 9 key questions there… My question is can I take other medications as well as Prozac, as I’m told that other medications for anxiety and moods could help… BUT, I am afraid to ask anyone in case they think I have gone beyond help

Dear Randall,

My answer is that medications won’t improve your wellbeing, or resolve your long term issues. At the best, they allow you enough inner peace and rationality to work on your problems, but only resolving them will help.

If you have the symptoms of BPD, what you need is “Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.” This, like most other services, is available online. I don’t know if NHS will cover the cost, but there are free versions.

However, even when you have started therapy, do not cut off your medications. You need to wean yourself off slowly, under medical supervision.

Read my page on panic attacks.

You are welcome to contact me so I can continue to be of service to you.
Your friend,
Bob

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Deeper Issues

 

Confucius quotes

I don’t know who runs the Self-Improvement Blog, because that is kept secret from visitors. I found it because I wanted a few apt quotes from Confucius, and this blog has 100.

Actually, quite a few are repetitions with minor differences of translation. All the same, you’ll enjoy reading them, and will be impressed at the similarity between the views of this ancient Chinese sage and that of Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, and every other great religion I have studied.

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I approve of these announcements

 

Gremlin-hunter handbook

There are gremlins out there determined to keep your work from being published, from being promoted. Resolved to embarrass you before the gatekeepers who can turn the key of success for you, they lurk in your subconscious and the depths of your computer programs. Whether you are a new or experienced author, Carolyn Howard-Johnson’s The Frugal Editor (now published by Modern History Press in its third edition) will help you present whistle-clean copy—from a one-page cover letter to your entire manuscript to those who have the power to say “yea”or “nay.”

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Reviews

 

Paddlin’ With Thoreau by Mary Anne Smrz

This is a gentle book, contemplative and reverent. The best way to consider it may be as a series of meditations upon life, as annotations of passages from Thoreau’s writing. So, it is appropriate to read one little chapter at a time, ponder on it like Mary Anne pondered on Thoreau’s words, and answer for yourself the questions she asks. Perhaps use one of the short chapters per day as the starting point for thought.

Mary Anne’s language is expressive, clear, lyrical, and in parts inspiring.

Thoreau’s philosophy, as expounded and exemplified by this wise lady, is in very close alignment with mine. There is only one Truth, expressed in a myriad ways, and I think we share it. I just hope I can learn to live it!

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Poetry

 

The Never-Ending Search, by Don Lubov

Hunting for long-lasting peace,
Long-lasting pleasure, too
Is how most people spend their lives,
Plethora of things to do.

External things are bought with hope
They’ll yield some happiness.
And so with things outside ourselves,
Briefly pleasures work, I guess.

Eventually, one must turn in,
For satisfaction to be gained.
On what truly maters for all.
Pleasures that do not wane.

Pursue your pleasures, avoid the pain,
For happiness and peace.
Life’s very purpose is at stake,
For all life’s stress to cease.

As long as there’ve been human beings,
The search for who am I?
Has been the goal of all of us,
To get before we die.

Answer this, and live a good life,
Just knowing why you’re here.
This, and nothing more you need,
To be without much fear.

To love as though you’ve never been hurt.
Life of service, be your best.
Free of doubt, your purpose so clear.
Nothing to grasp, you rest.

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Taken, by Laurie Corzett

“You took my children,
but you can’t have him” — I
demanded teeth and nails bared.
You were my heart, my happy place,
my everything blessed and dear;
until, somehow, I don’t know how,
you disengaged, became
more stranger than
I want to bear.

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Fun

 

Accurate view of housing crisis

Go on, have a look

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